How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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