I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
