Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
