You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize