I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
