the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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