and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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