So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
