Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
