return my video game
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize