My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I believe in your delicious
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
