i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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