she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
