I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
