Did you just see the Batmobile???
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
