I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
as a side note pls kill me
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