I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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