:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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