The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
