What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize