D3 body, D1 cock
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
