Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
