u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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