I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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