Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
