Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
