I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
