bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
