Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
