i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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