I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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