I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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