Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
