apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
