Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
