you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
