I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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