White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
