I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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