in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
