idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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