So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
