Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
