at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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