put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
