Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
