I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
