Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Drunk is a universal language darling
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