You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You are the jesus of drinking
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
