You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I checked into jail on foursquare
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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