I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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