Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
