i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
