Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
handjob tips. give me some.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I didn't notice because vodka
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize