so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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