if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
