I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My ass is underappreciated
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
