Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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