Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
