Kareoke will never be a sober sport
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
