Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
