I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
